So I had a night in the SameSun Backpackers Hostel. One bed in a group of 4. I’ve no idea who they are or where they’re from, I only recognize them from the back of their heads and their feet. I hate it. I despise it! Even if I got a job, I couldn’t stand being in this place for 6 weeks – and with the complete and utter impossibility of finding a private place to stay for a reasonable price, I think I’ve done what’s best before it’s too late and I’m really broke.

I sat in a bar yesterday for 6 hours. I had 5 cokes, 1 lemonade and pineapple and 10 wings. I met 2 guys, the first one left drunk and tried to fight with someone and the second one discussed the Mexico vs. Costa Rica football match with me despite me being completely clueless about it. It was an alright night, I preferred it to being stuck in a room with sweaty, farting, snoring men.

There’s another fireworks show on tomorrow. I think I might watch it. I’m not sure. I’ll just see how it goes.

My flight is booked for the 28th July, I’m headed home in 4 days. I’m relieved, I am. It’s so difficult and, ugh. No more.

Anyway,

Peace.

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So Emilie has gone, I’m on my own. It’s horrible. I’m skint and I’m struggling to even survive. My ‘job’ is $8 an hour and at the moment 4 1/2 hours per week. So it’s absolutely impossible to support myself as is. So, with deep regret and absolute dismay, I’m going home. I’m going to call my airline very soon and change my flight to Thursday, if not sooner. I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve realised that there’s no real way to plan for how you’ll feel when you’re solo in a city as huge and as diverse as Vancouver. It’s just too much, too much for a local town boy to handle so quickly and severely.

I sat and watched the fireworks alone last night, an event that’s supposed to be enjoyed with friends and family around you, and I had to sit through it alone. I say I had to, I chose to. I didn’t want to spend my first night alone, alone – in that room. It’s just hauntingly lonely.

So what have I learnt so far? That I tried, and I did, I really tried. But without months and months of planning, and more money than I came with I’d really struggle. I learnt that the people around me mean more to me than anything else in the world – and that without them and the support of my peers, I really am just a lost child. I’ve come to the strong, bitter realisation that I’m still just a kid – and being a kid in a city of this size and contrast is scary. It’s really scary.

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So today is a mixed fever of emotions, it’s Emilie’s last day here, my last day with my safety blanket around, our last day together for a while. So we’ve tried to make the most of it as we can. I’m real worried at the moment because we’ve had a bad reaction to the bed bugs from our old room, full body rashes. It’s far worse on Emilie and she had to fork out $90 just to find this information out, then another $15 for medication. Regardless, we have peace of mind and she leaves in around 14 hours =[

Take it easy,

I’m gonna be saying bye to Emilie tomorrow then taking a few stills/videos of the major fireworks display tomorrow, then an early morning before I move to the new hostel and start my training!

Adios

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So I’m sat here with a Big Gulp, Subway & A huge smile. I got the job! I’m so pleased. It’s an ice cream shop, for sure. There’s about 50 flavours and I had to work a 4 1/2 hour shift, randomly. I have no SIN Number Yet, nor do I have any idea on pay or hours – but I’m sure it’ll all be worked out at some point, and hey – if not? So what. I go home. It’s no big deal anymore. I came, I conquered, I left. That’s how it should be.

Seriously, though. The first thing the SWAP Lady specified at the meeting, was how hard it is to get a job. She said it took her 6 weeks to land her first job, and any less means you’re extremely lucky. Well I landed mine in less than 7 days. So I’m crazy lucky! But screw that, I don’t believe in luck. I made my own way. Luck shouldn’t take any credit. God damn. I’m happy. The only issue I have now, is that I have 1 shift this week, which is training. I’m unsure how many shifts I’ll have the weeks coming or whether they’ll support me enough for rent and food, so I’ll be a little apprehensive until my rota comes through.

The fact I only have 1 shift this week means a lot of alone time and I guess a whole host of thinking. I’d really, really like to stay here for the year. I mean, I’d really like to. I’d be over the moon to. It’d be the best thing ever. But do I ‘waste’ another year? I say waste, it really isn’t a waste. Time is so relative, and I don’t have a whole lot of it – so why close opportunities, I guess I should say Yes, Yes, Yes. My education teaches me nothing new, it just allows me to embrace my own creativity and let it flow with non critical mistakes. If/When my Photography starts earning my keep – I can’t make those same mistakes, so it’s good to do so in an environment where they’re turned into something more positive.

Argh, I don’t know. It’s all getting a little too deep. I think this test run has made up my mind though. Even in the current economic climate, I can throw down my money, go to the place I love the most, find a job and have the ability to support myself through it. It’s an experience I’ve loved and will love to pursue further. But I have responsibilities and targets left unfinished at home and I guess I should finish those first.

Things I miss

It’s a short list, I swear. I don’t miss a lot. I miss family, I mean, who doesn’t – and I miss working in the bar. It’s only been a couple weeks and I’m already moaning like I don’t know what, but it’s good to reminisce and think of what’s important to you and the things around you that shape who you are and what you’re to become.

I also miss sitting and watching the crap TV that I do watch. TV Series of Dexter, or Lost, or Fringe, or watching Leo Laporte on live.twit.tv – Listening to the bouncers outside at 3am, hearing old hags at 2pm on Tuesdays singing their God shite.

Things I don’t miss

Big Brother. I thought I’d miss it, I thought I’d be hooked. I’m not. I’m actually okay with not watching it, in fact – I’m okay with not watching anything. The only TV I’m inclined to watch here, is the UFC – and I can’t wait for UFC 101 – Silva on the 8th August. I hope to God I’m not working that night!

I also don’t miss the weather. It’s been on average around 25-27c every day so far. I forgot what cold feels like. I’m sweating in bed, sweating in the shower, sweating on the streets and sweating in the shops. I love it. It’s a sure fire way of losing weight!

Anyway, I’m gonna fall asleep and dream about the future.

Bye Lovelies!

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